


Squash Those Butterflies

by Doodlelupin



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Anxiety, Arachnophobia, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, I suppose, M/M, Nonbinary Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, could be seen as jontim, oh this takes place like early season 1 btw, this is so dumb lmao very self-indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:27:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27485005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doodlelupin/pseuds/Doodlelupin
Summary: Jon's acting a bit strange. Tim knows they're anxious. Sure would be great if they'd talk about it.
Relationships: Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist & Tim Stoker
Comments: 8
Kudos: 85





	Squash Those Butterflies

**Author's Note:**

> theres a cut in the fic...everything after it was rushed and more out of character than the rest of it lol just a heads up

“Going on a walk.” Jon said as they passed by Tim’s desk.

“Hang on, I’ll go with you! Let me grab my scarf.” Tim jumped to his feet and took his jacket off the back of his chair. He pulled it on as he jogged back to the break room. He’d left it on the counter. Just as he suspected, Jon did not wait up. Tim rolled his eyes, picking up the pace to catch up with them. He was practically sprinting through the halls of the Institute.

“Sorry!” He called back as he twisted to avoid hitting Rosie. It was kind of fun to run through his workplace. He caught sight of Jon.

“Hold up!” Jon was walking rather fast; they must be anxious. Jon turned at Tim’s call, looking a little startled.

“Jeez, boss. You’re in a hurry. Got somewhere to be?” Tim asked.

“Oh, sorry. Just have a lot of energy.” They chuckled awkwardly. They started to walk together.

“No worries. Your legs are short so it’s a good thing. You’ll be able to keep up.” Tim smirked.

“Shut up.” Jon smiled. 

“Walking anywhere in particular?” 

“Not really. Have any errands to run?”

“On work time?” Tim mock-gasped. Jon rolled their eyes.

“This is a break, we’ve got enough time to go somewhere if it doesn’t take too long.”

“If you say so,” Tim teased. “We could grab a coffee?” He suggested.

“Sounds good to me.” Jon agreed. They stepped out the doors of the Institute, turning left towards their favourite cafe.

It was late fall. The trees were shedding their final leaves and the air was cool, but not cold. Clouds drifted lazily through the sky, with large enough gaps for the sun to peek through most of the time. The streets weren’t excessively crowded but it  _ was  _ London; they had to step around their fair share of people.

They walked in silence for a bit. Jon was still walking faster than normal. Tim knew when they got excessively anxious they would do this, go on walks and move as fast as possible. They had said it was something to do with “appeasing the fight or flight instinct.” Tim wasn’t exactly sure what they’d meant by that, but it seemed to help so he didn’t really question it. 

He was concerned for Jon, of course, but he didn’t want to pressure them into sharing. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable, they’d been friends too long for that. They were content to be lost in their thoughts together. Tim decided they could speak up when they felt like it.

They neared a large intersection with a larger crowd of people waiting to cross. The light had just changed so they were just starting to get moving. Jon slowed for a second, considering. They took Tim’s hand and started weaving through the people so they could keep up their pace. Tim didn’t have time to be shocked, he had to dodge people. Jon was a lot smaller than he was, and they didn’t seem to be keeping that in mind. There were plenty of “sorry!”s uttered before they reached the other side of the street.

Jon didn’t let go of Tim’s hand on the other side. They were staring rather pointedly ahead. Tim smiled. It wasn’t like this was the first time they’d held hands, though they usually had a lot more alcohol in their system. It would be nice if Jon’s hand wasn’t so cold. Tim lifted their hand so he could clasp it with both of his hands. 

“God, Jon. Your hand’s freezing!”

“Sorry-” Jon tried to pull their hand away but Tim held it tight.

“I’m not complaining, you just need to warm up.” He rubbed his hand, trying to bring some warmth to it. Jon shoved their other hand in their pocket. Tim paused for a minute, trying to decide if he should ask.

“Can I ask you a question, boss?” Jon hummed in response. “Are you doing alright?”

Jon visibly stiffened.  _ Okay, solid no then. _

“I’m fine, why?” They were avoiding his eyes. Tim scoffed.

“Well, you’re lying to me, for one. We both know why you go on walks in the middle of working.” Jon sighed.

“Fine, I’m anxious.” Tim visibly was not satisfied with that answer. “There’s no reason I can think of. It just happens sometimes.”

“Have you eaten today?” Tim asked. Jon took far too long responding. “Jon!”

“Well I was planning on it! I just...didn’t get around to it.”

“I’m buying you lunch. -No arguing!” Tim cut them off.

“Fine.” They scowled. 

They returned to silence. Jon’s face softened as they walked. 

“Thank you.” They said softly. Tim smiled.

“No problem, boss. We’ll get soup. It’ll help warm these up.” Tim lifted Jon’s hand. “And will probably help with the anxiety. Hard to feel anxious with a nice bowl of soup filling up all the room.” That made Jon laugh.

“That’s not how it works.”

“Of course it is! Did you not take a biology class in high school? Anxiety is caused by a bunch of little butterflies flapping around in your stomach. If you have enough soup, the butterflies get too covered up to fly around for a bit. It’s relaxing for them. Like a hot tub!”

“Are  _ you _ alright?” Jon laughed.

“Just grand.” Tim grinned. He was glad he could get Jon laughing. They had slowed down too, walking at their normal pace now. Well, almost normal? Perhaps he spoke too soon. They were slowing even further and had tensed up again. They weren’t at the cafe yet. Tim couldn’t figure out what the problem was.

“Boss?”

“Sorry, sorry. It’s nothing.” They looked anxious.

“What is it?” Tim looked around. There didn’t seem to be anything new around that would have made them anxious. The only difference was the number of leaves on the pavement. They were just about to walk under a big tree that had covered the pavement in dead leaves.

“It’s really nothing, don't worry about it.” They pushed forward, clearly still uncomfortable. They had sped back up and were walking...strangely. Tim stopped abruptly.

“Don’t lie to me! We just talked about this. Jon. What’s the problem?” Jon was staring at their feet. They dragged their eyes away to meet Tim’s.

“It’s so ridiculous, can we please not?” They tried to keep walking but Tim held their hand fast.

“Do you think I’m going to make fun of you? You’re clearly upset. You could literally tell me you were afraid there were tiny clowns hiding under the leaves and I would take it seriously.” Jon chuckled despite themself. They sighed.

“It’s...not clowns I’m worried about.” They took a step forward, looking to Tim to see if he’d follow. They seemed to be talking, so he relented. 

“I-Tim it’s so childish-”

“I don't care! Get on with it.”

“Spiders! Okay? Spiders tend to hide in dead leaves. And I’m...I hate walking through piles of leaves because it just makes me think about how many spiders are probably crawling into my shoes-even though I know they aren’t really I just can’t stop picturing it and-”

“Hey, hey, relax, Jon.” They had stepped onto the clear bit of pavement but Jon was still walking strange. Tim figured they had been trying to step on top of the leaves, though he wasn’t quite sure why they were stomping now. Trying to ‘shake the spiders’ out? He pulled them to a stop. “That’s not childish.” Jon gave him a look. “It’s- Phobias are very common.”

“I know.” Jon sighed. Tim squeezed their hand. He didn’t really know what else to say.

“You’ve got to stop lying to me, Jon.” Tim said softly. He was consciously trying to use their name. It helped catch their attention more than nicknames did. “You know you can trust me. I just want to help.”

“I-” Jon looked back down at their feet. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“And that! You don’t have to apologize to me. I know why you feel like you have to, but you don’t.”

Jon opened their mouth to reply but silently closed it again. 

“Okay.” They said softly. “Thank you.” They looked so sad.

“Can I hug you?” Tim asked. Jon wasn’t always comfortable with touch, especially when they got anxious, so Tim tended to ask first. Jon didn’t reply, simply burying their face in his chest, wrapping their arms around him. Tim hugged them back, squeezing tight. They stood like that for a moment, Tim rubbing circles on Jon’s back, Jon clinging on as if their life depended on it. Eventually, Jon pulled away.

“Thanks, Tim.” Jon said earnestly, looking Tim in the eyes this time.

“Anytime.” He replied. They smiled at each other. 

“Soup time?” Tim asked. Jon giggled.

“Gotta squash those butterflies somehow.” Tim laughed, holding out his arm. Jon looped their arm through his and they set off once again for the cafe.

* * *

They eventually got to the cafe. They both ordered soup, and coffees for themselves, Martin and Sasha. After finishing their soup, they headed back to the Institute.

As they were nearing the leaf covered section of the sidewalk, Tim turned his back to Jon and crouched.

“Climb on.”

“Tim, I’m not going to-”

“Yeah, you are. Who doesn’t love a good piggyback ride?”

“You’re holding three coffees!”

“And?”

“And you could spill them.”

“I mean if you’re going to be that difficult...Hand me your coffee for a minute?”

“What?”

“I want to try a sip. I don't usually order black coffee.” Jon looked very suspicious but they handed over the coffee. Tim took a sip. “Not bad.” Instead of handing it back, he placed it in the empty spot in the tray.

“Tim, what are you- Hey!” In one swift motion, Tim bent down and grabbed Jon, slinging them over his shoulder. He started walking, barely affected by the additional weight.

“Not a drop spilled. This would’ve been easier if you cooperated.”

“Tim! Put me down!” Jon cried indignantly. Tim laughed. He complied, but only after he had gotten through the leaves. Jon glared at him, arms crossed. Tim held their coffee out as a peace offering, grinning. He could tell Jon wanted to stay mad, but even they couldn't resist his big ol' grin. They rolled their eyes and grabbed their coffee, turning and walking ahead of him. Trying to hide a smile.


End file.
